Insomnia

I can't sleep tonight
again
This charade grows old
lying in bed
with the lights out.
At night is when I'm finally free
to be who I am
During the day I force a smile
pretend interest
fake a willingness
to live, to exist.
You think everything is fine?
It's perfect
because you believe that lies
that have become me.
That's what I want
Isn't it?
At night I wonder
if there isn't something more
to this life I've created.
Can I step out of this role
without breaking your heart?
At night the last notes
of my masquerade fade away
and the silence surrounds me
comforts me.
Can you hear me?